The Daily Mail Song


mp3 here:

Hello everyone. Me & Dan have written a song about The Daily Mail (a British newspaper).

We’re aware this video won’t mean an awful lot if you’ve never heard of The Daily Mail, but on the plus side, you’ve never heard of The Daily Mail.


Date: January 29, 2020

26 thoughts on “The Daily Mail Song

  1. As an American, it took me a while to realize how shitty the Daily Mail was, until when a kid in my year in highschool was murdered , and, when trying to find information about it, I stumbled into a Daily Mail article that seemed solely devoted to talking about how expensive the house was, and how nice the hardwood floors a 16 year old kid was found dead with his parents on were. From that moment on I have hated the Daily Mail, not just because it is a shitty sensationalist tabloid formatted like a broadsheet, but because of the incident when they found reporting on how attractive a possibly soon on the market real estate listing would be, more important than reporting on a murder-suicide (murder-murder-suicide?) that caused wrecked a community, caused a sixteen year old child's life to ended at 10th grade, and a college student was left with her family torn from her all of a sudden, with no opportunity to say goodbye.

    I will always hate the Daily Mail for this.

  2. Royals on the first page,
    Swine flu and road rage,
    Find Maddie,
    Foreign baddie,
    Put him in a big cage,
    Bureaucratic red tape,
    Facebook gang rape,
    Gordon out, Dave in, before the country caves in,
    Ian Huntley gets his own jacuzzi and a gym in jail.

    It's absolutely true, because I read it in the Daily Mail.

    Bring back capital punishment for paedophiles,
    Photo feature on schoolgirl skirt styles,
    Binge Britain! Single mums!
    Pensioners! Hoodie scum!
    Oversexed and underaged (foreign stories half a page)
    Criminals get Marks & Spencers vouchers when released on bail.

    It's absolutely true, because I read it in the Daily Mail.

    Ban this gay smut,
    I'm not racist but…,
    Car crime, Knife crime,
    Hang the cheating wife time,
    Pop stars take drugs,
    Teen boys wear hoods,
    Sports stars have sex,
    Bears shit in woods,
    Brussels politicians want to stop us drinking English ale,

    It's absolutely true, because I read it in the Daily Mail.

    Climategate! Petrol prices!
    Pot-holes! Credit crisis!
    Gypsies! Russell Brand!
    Time we all took a stand,
    Modern art, where to start? Trash the lot of it,
    Apart from statuette of puppy, 50 quid plus P&P,
    Muslim women hiding stolen goods behind their veil.

    It's absolutely true, because I read it in the Daily Mail.

    Poles paid to give blood,
    Immigration, "Like a flood",
    Soft touch British Isles,
    Cancer from your mobiles,
    Cancer from your laptop,
    Cancer from your root crop,
    Cancer from your shoes, from your dog, from your pen top,
    Immigrants arriving on an unprecedented scale.

    It's got to be the case if it's written in the Daily Mail,
    They never mince a word in the good ol' Daily Mail,
    It's absolutely true,
    Because I gather all my views,
    From the Daily Mail.

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